Ferrets and Such...
by finite
Summary: mild slash implication, Harry and Draco run in to each other...literally, (kind of humorous?? *grins hopefully*)


A/N: WARNING: This contains some SLASH material.  
  
Ha! Now that you have been warned, you can only blame yourself for getting offended.  
  
Only a mild slash implication. Some swearing *grins apologetically* Very light-hearted in comparison to my previous fics.  
  
  
  
  
Ferrets and Such…  
(mild slash implication)  
  
  
OOOF! The floor was suddenly scattered with books and a heap of robes lay in the midst- also a muss of blonde hair and angry, hissing words to accompany.   
  
"What the hell was that Potter?!"  
  
Harry was too busy feeling quite dazed. He began to pick up his dropped books from the floor, without even glancing at the furious Draco.  
  
"Answer me damn you! Or are manners something you've never learnt?  
  
"You're the one who ran into me!"  
  
"You're the one that was running! I was merely walking along casually."  
  
Harry stuffed the remaining books in his bag and stood to face the other boy, whose words were echoing around the empty corridor. It was quite lucky that the corridor was void of its usual bustle, as they surely would have been given a detention if a teacher had heard any of the shouting. Which Harry was surprised at anyway, because creatures in the Forbidden Forest could probably have heard their shouting.   
  
"I was not running."  
  
"Were too"  
  
"Was not"  
  
"Were too"  
  
"Was…Look Malfoy, this is so immature. Just because you can't ever admit to being wrong…"  
  
" But you're the one in the wrong, scarface."  
  
"Go to Hell Malfoy."  
  
"Go HOME Potter…it's the equivalent."  
  
"Bugger you"  
  
"At least I have a proper home."  
  
"I have a home!"  
  
"And a mother" Draco snarled.  
  
"Bloody mummy's boy!" He muttered in answer.  
  
"What was that Crap-face?"  
  
"Nothing, weasel boy!"  
  
Draco glared at him open-mouthed. He still became highly embarrassed when that incident was referred to.  
  
"You still act like that ferret, you know Malfoy!" Harry said gleefully, knowing that he had finally had an effect of Draco.  
  
"Shut up" Was all that the usually quick-witted boy could answer. But Harry couldn't leave it. This was too good an opportunity to wind up his now famous nemesis.  
  
"Ferret boy"  
  
"Sonofabitch" Draco raised his wand and aimed a green paint pellet spell at Harry, who dodged it easily. Unfortunately the wall did not.  
  
"You leave my mum out of this Malfoy!" He drew out his wand and aimed a water jet.  
  
"Or what? Huh? You couldn't even walk down the corridor without stuffing up." Another paint pellet, Harry got slightly splattered.  
  
"You wanna be a ferret again Malfoy?!!" He said furious, red in the face and aiming a red paint pellet back.  
  
"Yeah Potter, that's seventh year Transfiguration." He mocked.  
  
But Harry had already raised his wand and without even muttering words, a jet of purple shot out the tip and straight for Draco. Although Draco was shocked, he was a seeker and managed to duck. The beam missed his hair by inches.  
  
"How the hell??"  
  
They turned to see the beam ricochet of the walls and round the bend. Harry also looked shocked. "I didn't say anything." He insisted. Then he remembered all the other times that he had been really angry- the time he grew back his hair, the time he blew up his aunt…  
  
"If you had got me…"  
  
"Well I didn't, so…"  
  
The sound of a shrill, piercing scream.  
  
"Oh my God! Who was that?"  
  
"That was Pansy, as in Parkinson" Draco said without hesitation, but with a faint, sadistic smirk playing about his mouth.  
  
Harry ran up the corridor, with Draco trailing behind him. He found no Pansy around the corner, but he did find a tiny honey coloured ferret, lying unconscious on the floor.   
  
"Holy shit" He stated.  
  
Draco was a little subdued. "That could have been me…Is she hurt?"   
  
Harry lifted the little creature in his hand, felt the tiny heartbeat, and breathed a deep sigh of relief. "No…Just passed out."  
  
They turned at the sound of fast approaching footsteps. Hastily, Harry stuffed Pansy into his cloak pocket.  
  
"Potter. Malfoy. What was that scream? And why is the corridor in such a mess?" Professor Sinistra demanded.  
  
Harry faltered, but it seemed that Draco's wit had returned unfortunately for Harry.  
  
"The scream was Potter," He said plainly.  
  
"Wuh?" Harry spluttered. The scream was the most high-pitched and girly, he had ever heard. Professor Sinistra gave Harry a surprised and faintly amused look.  
  
"Why did you scream Potter?"  
  
"I……….." He couldn't very well say that it had been Pansy, could he? "I'm….sorry." He finished lamely, throwing dirty looks at Draco.  
  
"Well…being sorry is not going to save you from a detention. And before you say anything Malfoy, it is quite obvious that you were *both* fighting." He now looked stern "You have been caught fighting each other far too many times this term…hmmm. Yes. I have the perfect punishment for you two. Follow me"  
  
He marched past the two outraged youths.  
  
"And I would stay out of Filch's way. He will hang you both if he finds that you are responsible for that mess."  
  
  
  
Harry stepped into the cold draughty Slytherin commonroom. He had only been in there once before in the second year. It was still as cold and gloomy as ever.   
  
"Now- Accio tin and brushes- You will be repairing the stone walls in each dormitory."   
  
The tin and brushes sped into the room and landed at their feet.  
  
"One dormitory each day during supper. Don't look so worried, we won't let you starve, but the room cannot be crowded because magical fumes are very toxic- supper is the most quiet time. That means you must open all the windows and I need to lock the door of the room you will be working in so that nobody else can enter… I will unlock it at the end of lunch." He said this with a faint grin at the horrified looks on the boys' faces. This was sure to teach them a lesson- being stuck with each other.  
  
"I think we should do my dorm first. It's getting mould on the wall, and has been annoying me for ages." He said this staring at Harry, as if daring him to oppose.   
  
Harry was just about to rise to the challenge, when he felt the ferret wriggle slightly in his cloak pocket. "Um…ok." He said abruptly, surprising Draco and the Sinistra.   
  
He gave Draco a meaningful look.  
  
Draco looked back at Harry, confused. 'What?' he mouthed as Sinistra lead them to the dorm. Harry motioned downwards to the front of his robes, at the twitching protrusion.   
  
Draco looked shocked and amused at the same time.   
  
"No Draco…it's not that!!" Harry looked simply scandalised, and he blushed deeply.   
  
Sinistra bundled them into the dorm with the tins and brushes, shut the door, and called through it… "Remember, no magic…I'm keeping tabs on the magical activity going on in here!"  
  
As soon as they were left alone…  
  
"Pansy…she's beginning to wake."  
  
As if on cue, the ferret jumped from Harry's pocket, and fled under a bed.   
  
"Oh shit!...Malfoy, get round the other side of the bed. Quick."  
  
Draco leaped gracefully over the bed and crouched down on the other side.   
  
"I can't see her, where the- Aghhhhhhhh" He yelled loudly, as the ferret shot up the inside of his robes.  
  
Harry was rolling around on the floor, almost crying with laughter, while Draco was doing a strange, jerking dance around the room, knocking everything down in the process.   
  
"Getoffgetoffgetoffgetoffgetoffgetoffgetoffgetoffgetoffgetoffgetoffgetoffgetoffgetoffgetoffgetoff"  
  
The ferret shot from under his robes, landed on the floor and rolled dazedly a few times.  
  
Harry pounced on it, then proceeded to shove it in the nearest trunk. The lid closed with a heavy thud.  
  
Draco sat, panting, on the bed, and rubbing his scratched skin.  
  
"She always wanted to get into your robes." Harry said still laughing hard.  
  
"More like under my skin." Draco growled.   
  
"Come on, the painting…we've wasted enough time as it is"  
  
They grudgingly pried open the tin without magic ("Outragous"-Draco) and began to paint it onto the walls. There was silence except for the swishing of brushes against rough walls. Harry looked at Draco- who was relaxed for once- without that guarded, tense look. His robes were a mess- another unfamiliar sight- and his hair was…his hair was. Ruffled. Kind of…but in a nice way. 'What! Did I just think that??'.  
  
Draco on the other hand, was thinking of that stupid Pansy, and her dirty little claws on his body. Eughh! She really was quite desperate. He wondered why he never noticed it before. Probably because she never did that to him before. Eughh! 'Bloody idiot, I'm glad she's locked in…'   
  
"Wait, my trunk! It has a hole in it!"   
  
Draco hurled himself onto the floor, threw open the lid of his trunk, and began to shovel out the contents.  
  
"Oh no! She's just gone and bloody escaped, hasn't she!" He said desperately. "We're never going to find her in this dump." He looked around at the already-bomb-site of a room. He was getting rather panicky.   
  
"Oh bugger." Harry added.  
  
They began to search for the stowaway ferret. They searched under all the furniture. Under the trunks, the desk, behind the dressing table, the side tables….Draco had his head on the floor, looking under the bed, and the rest of him was in a very awkward position. Hmmmm, he looked a bit weird- Harry mused- blurred…What was he doing anyway??.  
  
Harry shook himself. He wasn't meant to be thinking about how Draco looked! It must be the paint…  
  
"Shit! The paint fumes…the window- it's not opened!"  
  
(A/N…*grins* yeah…so you didn't know that was coming, right?)  
  
He tried to get to the window in order to open it, but he suddenly found that he couldn't walk in a straight line. He swerved of to the right and landed roughly on top of Draco, who was staggering upright at that moment. They both fell backward onto the bed.   
  
"Gerrof…Oh, my head!"  
  
Harry willingly obliged and rolled off the other boy.   
  
They both lay, side by side, clutching their heads. They were both red in the face and exhausted.   
  
They were getting more dizzy, hotter, and hotter, and….  
  
Draco tugged off his cloak.  
  
"So hot." He said blandly.  
  
"Mmm" Harry agreed while rolling up his sleeves and pushing his shoes off with his feet.   
  
"My head-… exploded."  
  
"Are there stars?"  
  
"Mmmm…pretty, green"  
  
"Red"  
  
"No"  
  
"Whatever" Harry closed his eyes.  
  
The door clicks open.  
  
"WHAT TH….??!!!??!!"  
  
Professor Sprout and Draco's room mates stare at the scene.   
  
Chaotic room. Clothes strewn everywhere. Harry and Draco lying on the bed. Flushed, panting, hair messy….oh yeah, and half-naked.   
  
  
  
A groan.  
  
"Wuh??" Harry lifted his head from the infirmaries glow-white pillow.   
  
"Harry, you're awake!" Ron's voice came, and his face swam into view. Harry reached up to his nose…where were his glasses?  
  
"Here you go Harry" Hermione passed Harry his glasses from his other side. "We were so worried"  
  
"-the paint…"  
  
"Er…Harry, you've both been unconscious for a whole day."  
  
"Yeah…we thought you would never make it." Ron quickly wiped his eyes on the back of his robe sleeve.  
  
Harry looked up at them. "The fight…"  
  
"We know Harry."  
  
"Um…do you remember what you did with Malfoy?"  
  
"We fought…got a detention. Or was that a dream?"  
  
"That's right…And then?"  
  
"Then what?"  
  
"In his dorm…"  
  
"We painted."  
  
"Then?…"  
  
"That's it."  
  
Ron and Hermione exchanged worried glances.  
  
"We'll see you later Harry, you need some rest. That paint was really dangerous"  
  
They stepped out of the infirmary.  
  
"Should we tell him." Ron whispered.  
  
"I don't know…We can't ignore it."  
  
"But it would scar him for life…It's scarred me- sleeping with the enemy!"   
  
"Yeah…and it's the talk of the school…he'll find out sooner or later."  
  
"Malfoy doesn't remember much either."  
  
"Someone's going to have to tell him too"  
  
"Ok, but after they've recovered."   
  
  
  
Meanwhile, in a certain Slytherin laundry basket (where neither Harry, nor Draco cared to venture while searching)…  
  
A forgotten honey-coloured ferret almost fainted from the smell.  
  
  
  
  
A/N: A great big THANK YOU (told you it was big) to all those who took the time and trouble to review my previous fics…  
  
('Disconnected'  
'Darkness Visible'  
'An Advancement of Learning'  
'Surreal??- La Condition Humaine'  
'Cold Rain')  
  
Especially big thanks to Cheshire Cat (who reviewed loads!- makes me smile : )   
  
*Ok...a few people reviewed, asking for the rest of the story. Well, the ending is meant to be abrupt and ambiguous to add to the upbeat tempo and humour. Hermione, Ron and the rest of the school have the wrong idea about what Drabo and Harry did ^_^, and the 'Pansy the ferret' thing is left open-ended, so that you remain wondering. (it was meant to be funny *rolls eyes*)  
  
Bye byes :)  
  
  
~finite   
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



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